“My Long-Term Partner Wants A Baby… And I Don't. Should I Leave Her?”

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Oh, Bob: this is you thinking about it! You're doing it, right here; you're starting to lay it all out, for me, for you. You're sketching out the beginning of a conversation you can have with your girlfriend. You're investigating the anxieties (like your financial instability) that contribute to your wariness around having kids. It's a very good start.

In my experience, the decision of whether or not to have a baby is never just about having a baby. It's about responsibility; it's about our experiences of family; it's about our fears of loneliness or dreams of completion; it's about questioning our place in the world, who we are, who we want to be. It's about existential contemplation of our mad uncertain future, and a hundred itchy little feelings that this sort of soul-searching brings up in all of us. It's terrifying, honestly, when you think about it.